This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
