I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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