But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
