"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Farmville is her only friend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
