I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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