Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
