white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Still dying that you shit outside
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
