Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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