Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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