i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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