I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize