did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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