Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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