I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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