What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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