I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
