Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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