It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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