I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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