A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize