Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
