did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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