You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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