i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
