Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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