My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
