I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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