Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
