No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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