my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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