i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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