yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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