Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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