i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
