walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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