ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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