Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
