Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
too bad you live with your parents still
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
