There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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