Whod you bang
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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