I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
