YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
