Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
