By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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