I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
