Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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