it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet