He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
BRING THE BAGELS
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.