u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
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Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice