He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it