great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle