please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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