I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
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Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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