can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
