I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
