I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
