We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
