god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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