Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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