I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
