Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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